Address in the Stars
by ChrissyKlay
Summary: In the instant it passed there head turned and our eyes locked, brown eyes meeting a crimson red. Bella isn't like she used to be something changed inside of her when he left and she believe's that these unhealthy addictions are good for her.R
1. 1 year and five months

**Disclamier: I own nothin but my own character's :)**

**Enjoy**

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_ "I'd like to make myself believe_

_ That planet earth turns slowly_

_ Its hard to say i'd rather stay wake when i'm asleep_

_ Cause everything is never as it seems"_

_ Owl city-Fireflies_

My legs beat faster and faster against the black pavement, my arms at my side, my heart pumping against my chest willing me to go further just another mile was all I need then came the high I craved and hungered for.

Name Isabella Marie Swan, age 19, height 5'7, weight 117lb's and don't worry before you call me fat I'm planning on losing more.

One year and five months that's how long its been since Edward Anthony Mason Cullen left me.

He was always in the back of my mind as well as his family, Alice my pixie of a sister, shit I even missed Rosalie.

They had moved on with there life as well as I did I guess, dad was worried about me for awhile, I was worried about myself really.

My heart clenched as I neared my pike and the adrenaline ran through my vein's straight to my brain.

My breath caught in my throat as I came to a sudden stop reviling from the instant high that came forth.

It happened this way every time.

I remember how my life spiraled out of control, the exact time really.

Could you guess it happened the very moment Edward said goodbye and told me I was nothing but a distraction to him and his family.

A slap in the face would have been better then what he said to me that day, 'I don't love you anymore…"

I think I developed a huge problem but I kind of don't care in a way, I'm scared of food now how it happened I don't know.

Its like a phobia of sorts, I can go day's without eating or just having one meal a day.

My body has adjusted to it well no fat anywhere anymore. I think…

if I were to tell Charlie about everything I have been doing I would be sent away to get some kind of help.

But I don't care anymore about myself or anything that happens to me…

I would purposely fall now just to go to the hospital in hopes that maybe the doctor would give me my other high that I craved more then life itself.

I know its not good for me and I don't plan stopping anytime soon so…

My cell vibrated in my shorts pocket, taking it out Jess's number popped up on my screen I answered it without hesitation.

"Slut where the hell are you" she questioned me.

After everything was over with Edward and me Jess and Angela were the ones I turned to…

A party to celebrate my freedom was there suggestion.

I didn't agree at first but they dragged me kicking and screaming all the way there.

That was the night I popped my first pill and got shit faced with them.

But it wouldn't be the last, far from it now that I think about it.

"Running again what bout you" I asked here

"Planning the crazyest party yet come over in awhile cause I need you help with this one" she laughed

"Sure I got class at nine tonight then I'll be over around eleven then." I told her

"Alright but hurry…"

And the line went dead.

That was Jess and she could be a bitch at times but I loved her, she and Angela were the ones that introduced me to everything that I was now.

Oh did I mention I started college a couple weeks ago after I graduated.

Nothing better to do I was working at the shop that Mike's dad owned for awhile but his flirting was getting annoying.

Damn he had no respect, for Christ sakes he was going out with my best friend, have some common courtesy you know?

I straightened my back and walked on it was becoming late around dusk out side, Charlie would be worried and call Jake if I didn't return home soon.

Jake my new best friend my own sunshine at times, he was a werewolf you know happened about 7months ago.

Its wired to think about it how did I attracted this much attention from mythical creatures.

It made me wonder if there was something in Forks then what had there been in Arizona.

As I neared the house I noticed how withered it looked, much like myself; I'm sure.

But as I rounded the corner something different caught my eye this time.

Coming up the road to the left was a pure white Suzuki Hayabusa, the rider was wearing a black motorcycle outfit.

There helmet was on so I could not tell if it was a he or she., but I had a feeling I was about to find out.

In the instant it passed there head turned and our eyes locked,

brown eyes meeting a crimson red.

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	2. Nice bike Baby

**So there are no excuses but i have some good ones, internet was own and when i finally got it back up the doc wasn't working right on this site. They just got it fixed. But i hope you enjoy and if you have any question's feel free to ask. It's what i'm here for :)**

**Disclamier: I own nothing but my character's**

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_"Rotating, i'm shaking_

_I hope you turn around in time_

_tides changing, i'm waiting_

_You and I are one of a kind"_

_Time by Cute is what we aim For_

My heart stopped and my blood ran cold, the last time I had seen eyes like this was James and Victoria.

It felt like days that I stared in to this person's eyes, in all reality when his bike passed me it had been but a milla second. I looked at there back as they passed,

"Shit…"

This day couldn't get any worse cause I'm sure that was a vampire and they had seen me of all people,

"Just great, just freaking great" I told myself

How could I get out of this one I was in danger now and I couldn't careless to tell you the truth.

Everything was different now I was dieing every day, why would this time be any different.

Death by a vampires hands meant nothing anymore. Why care…

I picked up my pace again till I was running through the door of the house, Charlie was gone on a date with Sue Clearwater they had gotten together out of grief, I thought.

But whatever made Charlie happy made me happy I smiled one of my cherished fake smiles.

That's what my life was now fake, it had been for awhile it made no difference to me.

If anyone besides Jess and Angela knew what I had been doing, say for instance Jake I'm sure I would have a 'stern talking to' it made me laugh.

I glanced at my clock as I entered my room ,almost nine.

Getting out of my shorts and white t-shirt I headed toward the shower.

The hot water felt great on my sore muscles, running took a lot out of me sometimes.

I washed and scrubbed everything, reaching out behind the curtain toward the sink's edge I grasped for my exacta knife.

This thing right here, was my new best friend lately, turning my arm over till my palm was facing up I ran the blade up my skin toward my elbow.

Blood immediately poured from the new cut, dripping down onto the now red tube.

I laid the blade down and ran my fore arm under the water, washing the evidence away.

Stepping out of the shower I let the water continue to run as I grabbed a washcloth and a towel to dry off and stop the bleeding.

After I had everything under control with a fresh band-aid on my arm I headed to the room to put my clothes on, skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with my favorite pair of white Keds.

Getting on my knee's I pulled up the lose floor board where I had first found everything Edward had tried to hide from me.

I reached in to the floor by passing the two razor's and some pictures of me and him, I finally found what I was looking for a miracle bottle of pills, it helped me through my nights with out falling apart at the seems.

_Hydrocodene_-As a narcotic, hydrocodone relieves pain by binding to odious receptors in the brain and spinal cord, in other words make's you feel a...lot better.

Popping one in my mouth and grabbing my water to wash it down, it would kick in half way to school.

Putting everything back into the floor I grabbed my black jacket from the hallway and my solid purple back pack as I made my way down the stairs.

I noticed a note in the kitchen it was from Charlie,

_Bells, went out with Sue hope you'll be alright with out me. Have a good night and be careful, lock the door's cause I'm spending the night at her house as well._

_Love yea _

"Nice Charlie at least he's getting some" I laughed

I walked out side the house and uncovered my motorcycle, 'my baby' I thought.

Jumping on I kicked the starter and twisted the gas, he purred to life underneath me.

Another one of my many addictions now, the speed just the buzz of the wind passing by was all I needed.

I pulled out of the drive way and headed toward the college.

The tree's passed, the wind tonight was cold but nothing new for the gloomy town of Forks, Washington.

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Class was boring as usually Lit was, but I had my favorite drug in me so it passed quickly.

I walked out of class in a rush Jess would be pissed if I didn't come over, "I can't believe you'd blow me off" that's what I would hear for day's.

I headed toward the parking lot and hopped on my baby then pulled out, not noticing the white bike following me.

It was about eleven when class ended so it didn't talk long for me to get to Jess's house.

I shut off the bike and knocked on her door, before I could even get the second knock in the door flew open and there Jess stood in red PJ pants and grey sweat shirt that said _Bored_.

Written on the front.

"Get in here" she said grabbing my arm, "So…how was class"

"Good, same as usually really…when do you start back in Port Angeles?" I asked.

" The 1st of November" she said flipping through her 'Party' notebook, it made me laugh but that's what she wanted to do, plan events and stuff.

So she kept everything she planned for the party's we through or we help throw in that book, future references I guess.

"Lucky…" I mumbuled.

"Hey how many pills you have left?" she asked

"Hmm… maybe ten why?

"Cause…" she said pulling out her shoebox from under her bed, 'oh how many times have I seen you in the last year' I thought "I have some more for you" she said handing me a handful of pills.

I counted them then cause I knew I wouldn't be able to when I got home, when ever I came home.

There were about fifteen here so now I would have twenty-five.

I stuck them in my jacket pocket I wouldn't need another one of these until I went to bed, if I would go tonight.

It was a nice night maybe I would just drive around till the sun came up.

"Okay so what should we do for this party, we've already had a masquerade, devil and angel parties not to mention the fourteen other one's…" she told me.

"Well it is October why not a Halloween party then, we don't have to have it on Halloween but next week or something then we can have another one on Halloween." I questioned her.

"Your right I forgot it was October"

'Air head' I thought.

"Alright I'll go tomorrow and pick out my costume and make the fliers, then you can pass them out at the college. Now help me finish this wine cooler" she smiled.

"I'm already high right now you finish it" I told her, if I was going cruising tonight I didn't need to be pulled over and get a DUI, that would not be good.

Plus I was great at hiding my addiction's, no one knew now.

She downed the rest of it and threw away the bottle across the hall in the bathroom, you see her parents didn't care about anything.

My kind of people, her mom got the pain medication that I used for a back injury and gave Jess how many she wanted.

Her dad drank at night to help him sleep so the alcohol was always in reach.

Whatever I wanted Jess was there for me when no one else was.

I didn't like to be friends with her but everyone else at school had been mad at me saying I drove away the Cullen's when that wasn't it at all, he said he didn't love me anymore, I was a distraction.

Enough of that sorry sometimes I get a little side tracked.

"What time is it?" I asked her

"About twelve thirty, you leaving already"

"Yeah I have some stuff to do, homework tonight and Charlie's not coming home tonight so I might just cruise around for awhile then go home…call me on my cell if you need anything later" I told her.

"Okay, be careful on that bike one day it will kill yea you know" she told me laughing, sometimes Jess had a conscience.

"See you then and thanks again for these" I said jiggling my jacket pocket

"Sure, sure just get me some pot for mike next time you come over" she said writing in her notebook.

Yes I had a connection for pot, Jakes friend Embry all I had to do was ask. Mike and her had been going out since

junior year and he always used pot to chill out now that he was the future of his dad's hiking shop.

Heading out of the house I said hi and bye to Jess's mom and dad and hopped on my bike, I grabbed my I pod and pushed the headphones in my ears and stuck it in my back pocket of my jeans.

As the bike roared to life I pressed play and turned it up all the way,

'_Your life dreams are shattered_

_But your gone away_

_We've cried here for hours and hours turn to days_

_We know you regret this_

_Leaving us here_

_With portraits and memories_

_That we've held so dear_

_When I hear your name its not the same_

_No matter what they say I'm not okay_

_And we started at zero and went different ways_

_Now were all out here wasting away_

_And if we stared at zero then how did things change_

_Its seems like just yesterday we were the same_

_Its been three months since you left us_

_And so far nothings been the same_

_And my question with out answer_

_Is I the one to blame_

_And he was such a good description of a favorite figure man_

_He spoke well of other people and they said the same for him_

_When I hear your name its not the same _

_No matter what they say I'm not okay_

_And we started at zero and went different ways_

_Now were all out here wasting away_

_And if we stared at zero then how did things change_

_Its seems like just yesterday we were the same_

_We were the same_

_They say there sorry but what are they sorry for_

_How could they possibly know what I'm going through_

_I feel like no one has ever had to deal with this pain that I'm dealing with_

_Right now_

_Just six months ago everything was fine, or so it seemed_

_What course of events cause it to go down hill_

_His parents are devastated, his girlfriends depressed _

_What was he thinking?_

_And we started at zero and went different ways_

_Now were all out here wasting away_

_Wasting away, wasting away, wasting away…_

_And if we stared at zero and went different ways_

_Now were all out here wasting way_

_And if we started at zero_

_Then how did things change _

_Cause just yesterday we were the same_

_We were the same, we were the same…'_

I loved this song it always made me feel…anything but it made me miss them more, I had turned off of Jess's street as my other song started _Bad Girl by Rihanna_.

The beat always hooked me in and I sped up even more wanting to feel the rush of air and scenery pass by.

A bike ride was always better with a good high, glancing around I noticed how peaceful it was out, I had picked a great night.

As I pulled up to a light near Forks high my worst fear rode up beside me, the white Suzuki Hayabusa.

The person was wearing the same outfit as earlier today but this time _his_ helmet was gone and in its place were the same crimson eyes.

His skin was pale and his hair was midnight black, his jaw was well defined and he reminded me to much of them.

I had to get out of there, but before I could speed away his skin silk voice made contact with my ear's,

"Hi, nice bike you have there"

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	3. The Kiss

So sorry about this being late I had alittle writters block and with the holiday's and everything. I promise it won't happen again, hopefully :) Also if you check my profile the clothes and location's are on there, check them out tell me ehat you think haha be nice you all are my world :D

Disclamier: I own nothing but my character.

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"I felt it for some time, and not at all

Poison in my head, god love hurts

I'm not looking for love, but its hard to resist

I don't recall being this dead"

-Velvet, The big Pink

All of a sudden I had no voice, I mean would you if a vampire that you new for sure ate human's like myself every other day for a snack.

"…Thanks…" I stuttered out

His red eyes pierced my brown, they were full of sadness.

"What is a girl such as yourself doing out this later sweetheart" he had a hit of a southern accent.

"Riding, what about yourself?" I questioned my sanity asking a vampire who clearly drank human blood that question, why hadn't I just drove away at least it would by me time. But since _he_ left I really didn't think anymore I just did, what was the worst thing that could happen right?

"I was looking for a meal actually and you smell just delouses baby" he grinned at his last statement.

In all honesty that day was a good day, it may have started out bad with the whole vampire wanting to eat me thing. But over all that night changed my life forever, at least in his eyes it did.

"Then get it over with, I always thought I would have my end at a vampires hands" I said.

"You know what I am?" he questioned.

"Yes, a coven lived here more then a year ago…I dated one for awhile…if you must know…" I told him looking away.

"So…were you his pet or something?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"I guess you could say that, I thought he loved me" I whispered looking down and my jacket.

Suddenly he was off of his bike and lifting my chin up to look him in his red eyes, "Oh…you were his mate, how unusual for a vampire to take a human mate, but then again I can see his attraction."

My eyes were locked with his, for a brief moment I seen concern flash through his crimson irises,

"Umm thank you…I guess."

From that moment on we were inseparable, he took me away that night. Took me away from my hurt from my pain and from my nightmare. Waiting for Edward had taking its toll on me in more ways then I had realized. I told him everything, putting my life in fates hands and never once looking back. He took my hand and told me to trust him, just like the prince asked his princess and I accepted.

I did leave a note for my mother and father and Jake as well.

All of my faults he said would go away in time, I think he did worry about my weight issue and the whole medication thing. But hell who wouldn't vampire and human alike.

I had nothing but the clothes on my back, I grabbed only the most important things that summery night.

My college information, the few clothes that I owned, books, and my box of memories. Surprisingly it all fit into my purple backpack.

The note was left on the kitchen table along with…my heart, I kept telling myself this was the right thing to do, to this day, three years later as I sit here in the library overlooking the Oregon cost line, I tell myself the same thing.

"This was the right thing to do"

"It was the right thing to do so stop asking yourself that again Bella", Tony said.

Lifting my eyes from my book I glanced in his direction, he was just entering the door from the main hall way.

Back from a quick lunch I presumed,

"Sorry, you know me just thinking about everything again" I told him as he grabbed a chair and pulled up next to me.

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately sweetheart"

"Maybe it comes with old age" I scowled.

"You act like your seventy years old darling, your just twenty two I will have you know"

"But I'm getting older everyday so I might as well be" I said averting my eyes back to my book.

The thing is Tony wouldn't change me either, he never said why only that _'maybe your not cut out for this whole immortality thing'_ but what was the use to question him anymore. Just go along with whatever came was a good motto to go by now…I think.

"I've got that book due by tomorrow, Brown's Company wants it by four. So could you go pick up a few things at the store for me?" I asked, after we left Forks I told him anywhere was better than here.

For a couple of months we went to Italy, being sure to stay away from Volturi for good reason. I knew if they found out that Tony was sharing his world with a human I'm pretty sure they would be pissed.

Europe was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Plus that's where Tony and I got to know each other better, i only happened once.

We were in Verona at the time at Juliet's wall as I called it, woman from everywhere would come here writing a letter to Juliet asking her to help them. How fitting huh?

It was the last night in Italy and I was excited to write her asking for anything… asking for my one true love back.

I left my letter for Juliet and made my way back to the little cottage that we shared on the outskirts of Verona.

Coming in the house I laid down my trusty backpack on the kitchen table opened the side pocket and retrieved my much needed bottle of medicine. Taking one in my palm I headed to the sink and grabbed a glass of water to wash it down with.

I knew Tony was trying to 'spy' on me from the living room, but I could care less, plus he never did a great job of being quite for a vampire that was really odd.

I heard his footsteps approaching before he spoke,

"Bella…" he called sympathy laced in his voice,

"Don't" I stopped him, "before you say anything about these" I told him holding up the bottle and shaking it, "they help me relax and sleep so…"

"I was only going to say that you know that I have a special talent don't you?" he questioned me.

"Really I had no idea……what is it?" I asked putting the bottle back into my backpack.

"I'm an empathy, I can feel your emotion's" he said

If the shock was written all over my face he never said anything, "Do you remember me telling you about the Coven that used to live in Forks" he shock his head, "well one of them was a empathy as well he could feel and control emotion's" I told him hanging my head to look at my shoes.

"Oh……well I can't control them I can only feel them if that makes it any better, not a good talent but I'm sure it will come in handy some day huh?"

"Yeah I'm sure it will" I told him lifting my head back to his level.

"And right now Bella I can feel how sad you are……what…he did to you was wrong and I'm sure he regrets it as well. But you can't keep going on like this, all the medication does is mask the pain away" he said.

"Just stop please Tony, I know everything that you could possibly tell me, I'm not a dumb girl who has her head in the clouds. Everything you can tell me I already know, one day I won't need this pill, but until then just leave it alone please. That's all I ask of you, okay?" I asked him.

Out of no where he was right in front of me, putting his cold hand on my cheek. Brushing his finger's over my parted lips, with all the time now that I spent with him he had never once tried anything like this. So to say it was surprising would be a understatement.

"Bella…" he called, his breath fanning out around me. "I just want to make sure of something" those words range to clear in my shattered heart.

His lips connected with mine and then just as it begin it was over, the next time I looked he was sitting at the table again.

Making me question if the kiss had happened at all, my fingers went to my quivering lips.

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And there it is hope you enjoy i'll try and hurry up with the next chapt. be patient with me please :P

Love you all


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